Fuck The NFL Draft

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Let's get one thing straight, football is probably the American pro sports league I care about least. If I had to rank regular season sporting events in order I watch them, it would be:

1. Baseball
2. College Basketball
3. College Football
4. Hockey
5. Basketball
6. Football

When the post seasons start, things change, because there is nothing as exciting as playoff hockey. Why? Three words. Sudden. Death. Overtime.

Back to football and its espn-driven hype machine. I really do not understand why football receives the love it does.

Can someone try to explain it to me?

I'm guessing it's partially the violence. Americans love violence. A country gone great because we kicked a whole lot of ass, forcibly seized the best parts of a continent and act as the worlds policeman. Yeah, there's a tad bit of violence associated with our culture and our most popular game. No wonder we love football.

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So... first pick, I hope its Clowney because I want Kiper to get punched by Gruden.

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They talk about everything so much. I thank the NFL for cutting the time down to 10 minutes between picks. Four guys on set and they all say the same thing.

How do I know this? My espn stream kept getting dropped, so I switched to the nfl stream, and it was as if the conversation carried on. Except now there are commercials, so less talking, so that's a bonus.

Uh oh. Pick 8, Browns traded twice for this? Will it be Johnny Football? Nope, some dude.

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Barry Sanders moment. Damn he's short. And it's an Madden game ad. Damn you nfl, way to sell that moment. Make Barry appear tiny by hiding him behind a sea of microphones. (Isn't it 2014? Do you need a sea of microphones anymore?) Fuck you Goddell. How much did Madden pay for that ad?

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Don't know how much more I can take of this. I want to see the Jets, but that's like an hour from now. Giants are next, I'll stick around for that. The Manziel pity party is beginning on set. The next 10 teams or so have no reason to take a qb, so its dive time for Manziel down the board.

That's it. I'm done. 90 minutes, 12 picks. I'll catch the rest later.

Again. Why is football so popular?

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