Project Do Over
Washington DC -
In a stunning reversal of policy Democratic leaders have shifted their focus from the floundering health care plan to the production of a time machine.
"We sorta effed things up," President Obama said in a Saturday speech. "With a time machine we can go back to January 21, 2009 and start over. Get things right this time by pulling our collective heads out of our collective asses."
The march to the promised land of universal health care has turned into a year long slog through red tape and knee-deep pork barrels. Despite the super majority the Democrats held for almost a year they were unable to get anything done except argue amongst themselves.
A combined team of scientists from top US universities have gathered at a secret location somewhere in the desert of New Mexico to work on Project Do Over.
"A time machine would be the easiest way to regain the lost time," a leading scientist said. "Much quicker than creating a 'super human' to fly around the world and spin it backwards... like that would even work."
When asked how the Democrats propose to pay for Project Do Over they responded with the 'it will pay for itself' line.
"Hello, we know who's going to win every game for a year," Speaker Nancy Pelosi said. "Vegas is going to be our bitch from Pittsburgh's win in Superbowl XLIII until the World Series in 2010. That's 18 months of covering the line. It'll be like the 90s all over again."
"We need to get this done before we lose any more support," DNC Chairman Governor Tim Kaine said. The deadline for Project Do Over is November 1st, 2010, the day before the Election Day.
"Project Do Over is a necessity," Obama continued. "We need this to restore the faith of the American people in the Democratic party by erasing the past 14 months of inadequate leadership and same-as-always politics inside the Beltway."
In a stunning reversal of policy Democratic leaders have shifted their focus from the floundering health care plan to the production of a time machine.
"We sorta effed things up," President Obama said in a Saturday speech. "With a time machine we can go back to January 21, 2009 and start over. Get things right this time by pulling our collective heads out of our collective asses."
The march to the promised land of universal health care has turned into a year long slog through red tape and knee-deep pork barrels. Despite the super majority the Democrats held for almost a year they were unable to get anything done except argue amongst themselves.
A combined team of scientists from top US universities have gathered at a secret location somewhere in the desert of New Mexico to work on Project Do Over.
"A time machine would be the easiest way to regain the lost time," a leading scientist said. "Much quicker than creating a 'super human' to fly around the world and spin it backwards... like that would even work."
When asked how the Democrats propose to pay for Project Do Over they responded with the 'it will pay for itself' line.
"Hello, we know who's going to win every game for a year," Speaker Nancy Pelosi said. "Vegas is going to be our bitch from Pittsburgh's win in Superbowl XLIII until the World Series in 2010. That's 18 months of covering the line. It'll be like the 90s all over again."
"We need to get this done before we lose any more support," DNC Chairman Governor Tim Kaine said. The deadline for Project Do Over is November 1st, 2010, the day before the Election Day.
"Project Do Over is a necessity," Obama continued. "We need this to restore the faith of the American people in the Democratic party by erasing the past 14 months of inadequate leadership and same-as-always politics inside the Beltway."
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